Entry Sixteen

Am I doing this for me or for him?

I hate testing motivations.  Not only is it not fun because sometimes you just don't want to face the answer, but it can be very hard to tease through the layers to find the true driving factor.  But boy does it change the way we live when we really start to examine our motivations.

The only John Piper sermons I have ever listened to focused heavily on this topic: do you worship a God-centered God or a you-centered God?  It makes all the difference in the world if you are truly living this out for God, for the glory of God, for the fame of God, for God himself.  Or if you are living it out for a God who is all about you, saving you, helping you, glorifying you.

So back to the original question, am I doing this for me or for him?  Am I worshiping a God-centered God or a me-centered God?

I think it is very easy to live my life for me without thinking twice about it.  All my decisions are selfish simply because I am the only one I consider when making them and generally I'm the only one directly and obviously affected, so it makes sense.  It really takes a mental transformation to go from that to "consider others before yourself."  Very not natural.  I generally live my life for me.  And I guess some people make the same mistake living life for a husband or children.  But it's just me.  So I make my decisions and I live my life for what I know: my needs, desires, aspirations, etc.

But that's boring.  Like running on a hamster wheel.  Good enough for hamsters, but not me.

So am I doing this for me?  Most of the time.  But he has justified me and I live by grace, which means I get to live for him despite my sinful tendency to live for me.  Isn't it lovely?